Marrying My Sister: A Mathematical Proof

Dear Rob,

Congratulations, you're marrying my sister Dawn.

As you can imagine, I'm rather fond of her, so I want to make sure everything works out just as it should. I thought the best way to ensure that you were fully prepared for the experience of spending the rest of your life with her is to fully disclose all that she truly is.

I thought about writing you a letter about all of her good traits - and her little oddities - so that there would be no surprises.

But then I remembered there is nothing cleaner or more pure than a mathematical proof.

So I've spend the last few weeks trying to distill the very essence of my sister into a simple and elegant equation. I'm pleased to report that I've finally accomplished this most difficult of tasks.

Here it is, my explanation of that which is at the very heart of my sister Dawn...